An Odyssey of Joy

If only I had a horse. I have lost count of the many times that I have said or thought these same exact words. Maybe hundreds, thousands, millions of times? If only I had a horse, I would be so happy and that happiness, would trickle into other parts of my life. I would have tons of friends and a full engagement calendar to prove it. My sales would be off the charts, driven by customers who hoped that some of my happiness would rub off on them too. And with all that new found money, guess what I could buy? 

Horses, lots of horses.

if only, 

if only, 

if only.

I was getting desperate and dare I say, older. I was starting to believe that owning a horse would never happen for me. Or happen within the years that I would be physically healthy to enjoy them.

The thermometer barely registered 15 degrees Fahrenheit. It was a bitter cold December morning. My hands ached. I drove them deeper into the pockets of my coat, searching for any warmth I could find in them. Even though I dislike wearing a mask, I was grateful for the protection it gave my nose and lips. Last night's snowfall, now frozen hard, crunched under my boots, as I carefully navigated the unshoveled stretches of sidewalk.  It was Christmas time and festive lights twinkled all over town but deep inside, nothing made me joyful. I felt really down. I did everything I knew, to keep myself healthy, virus-free and working. I had worked harder than I have ever worked before and was not any better financially, than I was last Christmas. How could I even think about horses? I thought of all the bills that I needed to pay in a few weeks and my stomach started churning. A horse, really?

My boss was an intimidating man. He always got what he wanted and he was willing to do whatever he needed to do, to get it. He had been riding me hard, as my current sales were falling short of my forecasted budget. "Your sales are not impressive and your pipeline isn't any better. Unless you do something about it, and do it fast, we are going to be having a different kind of conversation." he said.

"Pressure, pushing down on me, Pressing down on you,  no man ask for, Under pressure"-from the song, Under Pressure written by David Bowie and Queen

My head was spinning. "Doesn't he understand the lockdown and the effect it is having on everything, including my sales?" The fact was that my sales were almost 90% to budget; a worthy accomplishment on its own, in terms of the new growth which cushioned the devastating economic impact of the spring lockdown. It had been a long, challenging year and frankly, I just wanted to get past Christmas and into what I hoped, would be a more prosperous new year.

I heard him before I could see him. "C'mon baby....let's go!" he shouted at her. He slapped the reins hard against her back and she sprang forward, digging her hooves into the slushy muck, every muscle in her powerful body straining, until finally, the carriage started moving. She was a dark bay mare, a little over 16 hands tall, with powerful shoulders, a strong, wide back and a well-muscled hindquarter.  She really didn't look like a carriage horse. I thought she looked more like one of the crossbred sport horses advertised in the English riding magazines. She was beautiful and her body just screamed to be ridden. I picked up the pace and soon, I had caught up with the carriage. Now that I was closer, I could see that the mare looked tired, cold and hungry. "She's no carriage horse." I thought.

The carriage driver was an older man, about 70-something, maybe a little older. "Hey mister, how much for a ride?" I asked. He turned to face me. "Where you headed?" I noticed the twinkle in his eye and a faint smile spreading across his face. "500 Market Street, right at the corner of Broad." I told him. He looked at me intently, as if he was studying every feature on my face. "10 bucks, not a penny less." he said. I dove deep into my pockets and pulled out a ten dollar bill and gave it to him. He nodded at me, tipped his top hat and then, he patted the empty seat next to him. "C'mon up and sit here next to me kid. I want to talk with you but do me a favor and take that ridiculous thing off your face. There's no virus here. I scrub this carriage clean in the morning and then again at night. In the old days, a fella who covered his face spelled trouble, for an old guy driving a coach like me."  I pulled the band of my face mask from around my left ear, as I jumped up into the carriage and sat down next to him. "You on your way to work, kid?" he asked me. I nodded, while my stomach turned. "I know how you feel kid, I know how you feel. This cold weather, well, it's hard on an old man. I'm cold all the time. No matter what I do, I'm just cold.  And now, this virus. No one wants to take a ride anymore. What's an old guy to do? Well, I'll tell you something. I want some warmth and kindness for these old bones.  You know, my sister has been trying for years to get me to retire. She's got a cute little place in Cocoa Beach.  You know about it?" I shook my head. "Well, it's all about palm trees, blue sunny skies and no worries.  Yup, I really think it's time." he said and then he asked me, "so, what time is it for you? Looks like you are about ready for a change too." The mare turned her head around to look at me and then,  I noticed the shape of  the star on her forehead. It looked like a "thumbs-up". I couldn't believe it and I laughed. "You think it's funny to move to Florida?" he asked. "No sir, I just noticed the shape of your mare's marking, on her forehead. It looks like.."  "a thumbs up", he said. His horse nickered to me and SUDDENLY, what I had been thinking, illuminated into an idea and from there, a plan.

"Hey kid, I think she likes you. That's my Joy, always flirting with the boys." he chuckled to himself. I looked at my watch...quarter past seven. Time was running out and I needed to be in the office in a little more than an hour. "Hey mister, it sounds like you are ready to make a change in your life and well, meeting you and Joy this morning, makes me think that I need to do something different too. So how 'bout it, are you up for sunny Florida and a change?" I asked him, summoning up every bit of courage I could and hoping that this quickly concocted plan would work. Many dollars later plus, a first class ticket to Florida and I was the proud owner of Joy, a draft cross mare with a "thumbs-up" mark on her forehead. 

When the driver had pulled the harness off of her, it was hard not to miss the loud sigh of relief that came from a place deep down inside of her. Her head rubbed my chest, her sweet breath making me feel both warm and wonderful. As the realization of something much larger than I could ever imagine hit me. The image of the carriage driver's face popped into my head. "I thought there was something really familiar about the guy. I just knew it! And it wasn't because he looked like Peter Falk either." I laughed at the thought, as I saw a picture of Columbo, his trademarked trench coat with angel wings, in my mind. My heart, which had been so weighed down with discouragement only a few moments before, became happier, lighter and dare I say, joyful?  "Did I just experience a little miracle and could that driver have been an angel in disguise, sent down from heaven to help me this morning?" I asked myself. "That's another thing too. he kept calling me kid." I smiled, after all, it was Christmas and don't we all become more like children at Christmas? I really felt the holiday spirit or better said, I felt joyful, when a few minutes earlier, I was discouraged, all hope lost. I  shook my head, trying to shake myself back to reality. "Gosh, I am starting to sound like I have been watching one too many Hallmark Christmas movies but I met this guy out of nowhere and now, I have the one thing I have always desired, since I was a child. "If only..." had suddenly materialized into real and tangible joy. It was not exactly how I expected horse ownership to happen for me, here, on a cold and dark city street. However, that's what made it so....miraculous! I felt like singing at the top of my lungs, for all the world to hear that Joy, has finally found me this Christmas, all for the love of a horse!

****This is a fictional story that I wrote a long time ago, maybe in 2008 or 2009. Fast forward to 2021, I revised the story, to include a Christmas setting. Many thanks to you dear reader for visiting the blog in 2025. I am grateful for your support.  At this time of the year, regardless of who and what you believe in, I hope that when you look at an Arabian horse and become overwhelmed by the horse's beauty, that you also stop for a brief second to also recognize the Creator of the universe and the kindness of the Creator to gift this most wonderful horse to us. Happy Holidays.***