The Secret of Relationship

Our library's annual book sale happens later this month. Right now, the focus is on the book drive and the thousands of books that are donated for the sale by people like me, who reluctantly, decide to eliminate some of the clutter in their lives by purging the many books adorning their bookcases,.as well as the boxes of books in the attic. Despite honorable intentions, some of my books have never been opened, much less read. I had every intention of reading them but, life got in the way.  Those were the easier books to throw in the donation pile. It's the books that I have grown fond of, that are harder to part with. The funny thing about horse books is that they are never worth what you expect, when you want to sell them and yet, they cost so much more money than you believe, when you want to buy them. Earlier this year, I had tried to sell my complete library, something in the neighborhood of 300 or so books. Yup, all of it, even the artwork. The book sellers that I met on line were not really interested in any of my books and the few that were, offered so little, like pennies on the dollar. I quickly decided against selling any, preferring to donate many of them to what has become a popular, well-attended book sale, which benefits our beloved county library. Not to mention the very real possibility, that another horse-loving person would grow in wisdom from turning the very same pages I turned, within all of my beloved books. That's what I call, paying it forward!

I had forgotten that I purchased this particular book, The Horse Crucified and Risen, 10 years or so ago. I've had it on my shelf for so long, that I had forgotten all about it. Today, as I read a few pages, I realized that time, has not dulled the sharpness (or the anger) of the author's words, particularly on the bitting of horses and a human being's indifference to a horse's fear or pain. It's not an easy book to read, it will make you uncomfortable.  And if the language doesn't get you, the gruesome photos of injured or dead horses will. I remember becoming so frustrated, I put the book down, returning to it weeks later. Impulsively, I threw the book in the donation pile, only to come back to it later. As I read a few more pages,  the following passage grabbed my attention. 

"The secret of relationship with the horse is to love his essence as you look at him. Sense his pain, fear and discomfort as your own. Love his strange, from a human point of view, view of the world, and whenever possible, share that world view. You need to respect the horse's total defenselessness and to recognize his right to be dissatisfied. You have to renounce the stupid primate haughtiness and realize that belonging to the suborder of higher humanoids gives you no claim at all to any sort of supremacy. The secret of the horse's soul is that the horse does not owe you anything and is not obligated to obey you. You need to earn and win the horse's obedience by making yourself understood, by proving your love in your actions, and by your absolute willingness to understand the horse and become part of his soul." - Alexander Nevzorov from pages 186 - 187, The Horse Crucified and Risen

A few years after purchasing Princeton Maarena, she had choked on her feed and while waiting for the veterinarian to arrive, she had laid down in the thick bed of shavings that I had quickly made for her. 

She was visibly in distress, sweating profusely, steam rising from her body and in my best suit and topcoat, I kneeled right next to her and put my arm over her back, for reassurance. "I'm here for you Mimi, whatever it takes." She turned her head and made eye contact with me and from that point on, until the day she died, the connection that I shared with this mare was unbelievable, unlike any relationship that I have ever had with any animal: equine, canine or feline. I could sense, no, I could feel the power of the connection I shared with her. So, as I read Alexander Nevzorov's words, the mental image of Maarena burned in my mind. I didn't ask anything of her. I didn't want anything from her. I was so grateful to share the same airspace with her, that I didn't need or desire anything else. I was content with the horse she had become and in my heart and mind, she couldn't be any more perfect than she already was. The secret of relationship? That's easy. It's love...and I am keeping the book by the way.