The Vulnerability Hidden Behind A Number

Aleah Noelani (*Fayad Al Shaqab x Hadaya Nemrah) 2021 filly bred by Robin Lee, Aleah  Arabians

I remember reading an article within a popular monthly equine magazine that at the time, reported on the worsening horse market and how 100,000 broodmares were going to suddenly, become unemployed and find themselves in search of homes, at a time when the supply of horses exceeded the demand.  As a point of reference, The American Horse Council reported 9.2 million equines living in America, circa 2003.  So, 100,000 broodmares represents one percent of the total equine population. At the time, the number of 100,000 seemed gigantic to me and I spent alot of time wondering what it would look and feel like, if you gathered 100,000 horses, all in one place, all at one time. Would there even be a venue large enough to hold that many horses all at once? I couldn't stop thinking about each individual mare and how unfair life can be to horses.  Once, these mares were highly esteemed, their value defined by her role in producing foals that created and established profitable markets for their owners. Once the money dried up and those lucrative markets disappeared, so did the esteem felt for their mares. It was easy for these owners to get rid of them, in order to get out from under the expense of keeping them. And for me, that's the greatest tragedy, the absence of affection, within a relationship that should have been experienced on a deeply intimate level, between two species. I imagine these mares as foals, so irresistible for anyone, even for people outside of the horse community. Now mature horses, maybe not as lovable as the foal, I find myself thinking once more about them, still vulnerable, helpless and unprepared to meet their fate, at the hands of the people who bred them. If there is one thing that horses have taught me about life, it is that life, really is a miracle. When that newborn foal is delivered safely, without injury to his dam, life is a profound and humbling event. I am embarrassed to say that I took life for granted and I was part of the problem.  Uterine infections, poor semen motility, reabsorption, fibrous uterine walls; I learned how delicate, how frail, how precious new life really is. It doesn't always happen, no matter how much we want it to. Even that really scary, black spider that causes me to become light-headed when I see it, is a living miracle. Life is sacred, in all forms: the good, the bad and the ugly. So, where am I headed, you ask? All this came to mind, when the deaths from Corona Virus in America surpassed the even larger number of 400,000 late last week. And if that number doesn't hit you like a ton of bricks and brings tears to your eyes, the CDC expects another 100,000 people to die from the virus over the next 4 to 5 weeks. Like the 100,000 broodmares, what would it look like to be in the same place where 400,000 - 500,000 people are assembled together? I don't do well in crowd situations but I would endure it 100 million times, if it meant that we could get the 400,000  people back. And what about the 100,000 expected to die over the next month? That news made the hair on my head stand on end. Will I be one of the 100,000? Will it include you, dear reader? That's the new reality that we live in. In the face of the new variant strains of Corona Virus, recently discovered by UK scientists to be 30% deadlier than the strain we dealt with last spring, anyone of us is susceptible to infection. At the time that I am writing this blog, one American is dying from Corona Virus every 30 seconds. So, dear reader, it's challenging for me, on a deeply personal basis, to blog about horses when so many people are dying, every day. It's difficult to rave about a particular horse, lament about horses that should have been bred together that weren't, a breathtaking performance at a show or bloodlines that are in danger of disappearing from our community, when deep in my heart, I recognize that another beautiful human being, died before reaching their true potential in this world. The world is less brilliant without this person in it. And, to make it even more sorrowful, they died alone, without their loved ones by their side. How can I reconcile all these feelings, on a moral, ethical and spiritual basis? Yes, I am struggling with life's injustices, especially for those who are so vulnerable and helpless, like the 100,000 broodmares I mentioned at the beginning of the blog. Who will speak for the Corona Virus victims? Who will remind others of the special person that existed just a few weeks ago? Who will console the families that these people left behind? So, please forgive me, for my reduced activity level within the confines of this blog. I'm not going away, I'm just struggling to understand and accept the tragic loss of life that for now, knows no ending. Promise me, that in the next few weeks, you will wear a mask when you spend any extended time indoors with people who are not living with you, in your household. Make sure that your mask has multiple layers of fabric or if not, wear two masks.  Pay attention to the CDC standards. Do everything in your power to prevent infection, until you are able to receive the vaccine. Your life is precious and without you, this world will grieve the loss of your unique, beautiful and miraculous life.